Things are not always what they seem

Perhaps one of my biggest struggles with raising JJ is handling the remarks of others when we are out and about. JJ is one of those kids that looks perfectly normal and when we are out people are always commenting on his behavior. He just looks like a normal kid who is bad instead of a child with autism. At least once a week I have a complete stranger comment on his behavior. My favorite (or I should say most angering) was at christmas time when a complete stranger thought it was appropriate to tell my son that Santa was not going to bring him presents if he didn't start acting like a good boy. People are always horrified when I let him hang off the edge of the cart as i mad dash through the grocery store trying to get food for dinner.

Part of me understands where these people are coming from 10 years ago I would have looked at a mom with a screaming kid in the store and thought "my children will not behave like that". I have gained understanding. I have learned that things are not always what they seem and living a life of grace and understanding for others is part of being human. In the future I will open the door for the woman with the screaming child having a tantrum instead of handing her the latest Dobson book. Hopefully if you read this you will gain understanding too and realize we are not helping the child by judging it.

How do I protect my son from a world that doesn't understand? A grocery store that doesn't understand and worse yet a church that does not know how to cope with him!! It takes a village to raise a child and unfortunately the village does not know how to handle autism. They just want to label him as a bad kid. This makes me wonder how many kids in the past who were the "bad kids" really just didn't understand..........

Shot out of a cannon!!!

Today started with a shot out of a cannon. JJ woke up at 6:30am jumping on my bed and turning on the lights he did not stop until.... well he hasnt really stopped yet. He proceeded to break a chair, hit his sister in the head with a broom, spill apple juice all over himself and the floor and this was all by 8am. Normally I would be able to handle this with grace and mercy but today I have a lingering cold thats giving me a massive headache and my patience was nill. I proceeded to go on with my day as planned (why I dont know) and visisted a good old friend who I dont get to see nearly as much as i like. Needless to say JJ was wylie cootie running all over there house until I was exhausted.

All this to say why??? Some days JJ is great!!!!!!!! Behaving "age appropriate", snuggly and loving, even helpful and others he is crawling out of his skin. Today is one of the skin crawling days. He told me his body hurt today. I cant imagine what it must feel like for him to be crawling out of his skin, feeling like his world is spinning around him.

He is snuggling with me right now and just told me he loved me and that makes today great!!!!

Where do I begin??

On August 11, 2005 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was perfect. It was love at first sight. Little did I know that JJ was going to radically change my life.

JJ is on the spectrum as the professionals like to say but where and how they don't know. I had no idea JJ was not "normal" (I say "normal" but what does that even mean) until he was 2. He would scream at large family gatherings to the point that we would have to take him outside, he smeared his feces all over his room, he stopped sleeping, everything got harder. I reluctantly called early intervention at the urging of my mother and soon learned I was not alone. The programs and services offered JJ dramatically helped him but everyday events are still a struggle.

I don't tell you this so you feel bad but more to give you a history. A history of a journey that is changing me day by day. JJ is by far my greatest gift(minus his sister Abigail Louise but I will get into that latter). I know with all my being that JJ has a purpose whether he is going to be an Olympian with his insane gross motor skills, or zoologist caring for elephants, or just follow in his fathers footsteps and be an amazing man, he has a purpose and his oddities are for a reason. Everyday JJ makes me a better person, he makes me more patient, kind , and generous. He makes me see the world through a different lens.

I hope this blog will encourage you to embrace your children for who they are, or maybe give you grace for children who aren't "perfect" in the worlds eyes. If nothing else hopefully this will be a venue to release our daily triumphs and struggles.